Dealing with negative people

They are in every family and every circle of friends. We're talking about negative people that try to find fault with everything. It's not a matter of seeing the glass half empty - they don't see a glass when it's flooding!

Here's how to cope with them:

1. Don't look to them for approval. The biggest mistake you can make is running to them with the smallest thing to try win their approval. That shifts the power into their hands.

2. Let them motivate you. Use their negativity as a motivation. When they say "you can't do that" - let that motivate you to give it your best shot.

3. Keep your aspirations away from them. Don't tell them what you want to do or achieve, you don't need that negative energy.

4. Avoid toxic energy. Where possible, try to steer clear of negative / toxic people. Positive people will support you and know that in turn they'll get positive support from you when they need it. That is how healthy relationships are built.

5. Keep a gratitude journal where you keep a record of your achievements as well. When someone tries to make you negative, simply have a look at your journal and all you've achieved. Note how much closer you are to your goal.

6. Don't argue. Just nod, smile and change the subject. They will soon get the message. It's not in your interest to discuss your future with people that want to sabotage it.

7. Know where they are coming from. In other words, if their criticism is constructive, you may have to listen. Then again, if it is constructive, they won't come across negatively and they will be more supportive.

8. Their why. Know why some people always seem to spoil your optimism. They could be jealous of you or afraid of your success. You don't need to listen or put any energy into that!

Do your best, go for it and show them what you're made of!

Toxicity

They are in every family, social group or organisation. They spread their negativity wherever they go. I am talking about toxic people.

These are the people who constantly critisise, argue and complain about everything, whether it concerns them or not. The Toxic person uses this negative behaviour to get attention and their lack of social skills causes them to be unable to tell negative attention from positive attention.

Toxic people tend to zone in on the negative side of everything, generally blowing it out of proportion. The negative will often become their obsession. Once this becomes a habit, it becomes progressively harder to see any positivity.

Toxic people generally tend to form cliques of like-minded people that destroy anything positive before it can come to fruition. Jealousy is a prominent core value of toxic people.

Psychologist Martin Seligman showed in his groundbreaking research in positive psychology that people who see the world in a positive light have a long list of advantages, including:

* They live longer
* They’re healthier
* They have more friends and better social lives
* They enjoy life more
* They’re more successful at work

It's essential to cut out toxic influences from your life, even if it's family or loved ones.

If you are toxic, remember this: "Either your toxic emotions are using you, or you’re going to use them. For example, you can either allow your suppressed anger to explode and wreak havoc in your life, or you can harness its inherent power to stand up taller and take on a bigger mission in the world." says Debbie Ford, founder of the Ford Institute.