After being told by my significant other that I am the most undiplomatic person alive, I’ve decided to take a few lessons. (One wonders how constructive that criticism was?)
The trick is to be critical without being hurtful – that in itself seems like an oxymoron to me, but hey, I’m merely a student!
1. One-on-one – You never know how the person will react to critique, so don’t criticise in front of other people.
2. Be Amiable – Criticism given in anger is destructive, no matter how valid it is.
3. Balance – If you always criticise someone, they will become immune to it, or simply avoid you. Balance it with compliments and affection. That will they will take it from the same place you mean it.
4. Don’t attack – package your story in a kind fashion as opposed to insult or be nasty. Don’t say, “Your new hair colour doesn’t suit you” – rather say, “That hair colour is nice, I preferred the blonde though. Oh and I LOVE the style!”
It’s normal for a person’s feelings to be hurt after criticism, no matter how constructive. Everyone has an innate need to be accepted in full and we are all sensitive. The key is to be kind. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!
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