Speak to any number of married couples and you’re sure to hear of at least one couple where partners are living the life their partner wants them to live and missing out on their own dreams or goals.
This is usually a very subtle thing in relationships where you just go along without giving it much thought. Yet, when you realise it, you may feel stifled and unhappy in the relationship and have too many commitments to allow you to cut your losses.
For me, the first question that springs to mind is how they missed the part of goal setting in the beginning of their relationship, which involved what they each wanted out of life in the long term.
The two most prominent examples here are when partners have different views on sex and money. Or where one partner is introverted and the other partner extroverted and needs a large circle of friends in order to be happy. The introverted partner would then spend a lot of time around a lot of people instead of quiet evenings at home. Or vice versa.
In relationships where one partner is more dominant, the less dominant partner would often give in to the needs of the dominant partner to keep them happy at their own expense. The less dominant partner is less likely to demand a compromise which is fair to both parties and often give up something which is important to them.
This problem could lead to long-term resentment when it involves the core values, which is why it is so important to discuss these upfront.
If you are likely to be the dominant person in a relationship, you need to stop and ask your partner how they feel about things before steamrollering them into situations they don’t enjoy before destroying a potentially great relationship.
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